This one took a little longer to post because life happens. When I read this moms story, I felt like I was reading my own.

Olivia's Story:

 

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On June 6th, 2017, I found out I was pregnant with my third baby. I had a ton of mixed emotions. We were not wanting another baby, at least not anytime soon. My youngest was only 10 months old and we just weren't ready to do it all over again.

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Once I had my first appointment and ultrasound, I started to accept the idea more. My due date was February 18, 2018. My husband was going to deploy soon and I booked an early gender ultrasound so I could surprise him with the gender when he got back home. I made plans to travel back to our home state, Idaho, while he was gone so I could be with family rather than being alone.

The day I was going to drive back to Idaho, I had a doctor appointment to check on the baby. I should have been about 12.5 weeks. My doctor couldn't get the heartbeat on the fetal doppler so she brought in an ultrasound machine. I wasn't too concerned, I thought maybe the baby was just hiding a bit. Unfortunately, the ultrasound showed the baby had no heartbeat and measured only 11 weeks. It was confirmed by another doctor and I was told I would need a D&C soon or I could let my body try to pass it.

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My heart sank. The entire time I was pregnant, I was feeling frustrated and upset over it. The minute I started feeling excited about having another baby, it was all taken away from me just like that. I was supposed to be finding out the gender in just 2 weeks. I still drove to Idaho that day because I just needed to be with family since my husband was out to sea. 2 weeks passed and my body still hadn't realized that the baby no longer was alive. I ended up getting the D&C at the end of August because I could no longer wake up every day knowing this baby was no longer living.

I never thought miscarriage would happen to me. It broke me but it made me appreciate life more and my kids more. I will always wonder if that sweet baby was a boy or a girl, what they would have looked like, and what kind of person they'd be.

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